Wednesday, November 30, 2005
the curse of november
for the past few years, i consider november as one of the most exciting months of the year. such is for 2 sole reasons: first, the first week/s of november is part of the sem break, and second, november is close to christmas break. there is some irony here. the sem break really starts from october and just ends at the first or second week of november. so what i really like about november (talking about my first reason) is not the vacation itself but the nearness of the start of classes. most of the times, i am excited to start the semester and make a career out of my new subjects. the second reason, on the other hand, is the opposite of the first. it made me find november exciting because i am excited for another break. so it's just like, i want to go to class at the first part of november and not go to class at the end of it. with such, november came to be one of my favorite months in the year (but only next to february).
however, that was before. now, i am not so sure. november, now, seems to be a curse to me. wanting to go in class is a nice feeling. it gives me excitement, a feeling that which i think is good especially if such excitement (that which is caused by my want to go to classes) is fueled by my desire to see my friends. likewise, wanting to have a break is something that which is not just normal for a student like me, but also something that could mean something nice. it could mean that i would want to be home, or simply put, i somehow miss my family. and missing my family is something that is nice. but then again, that was before. i am not sure now if november is a blessing or a curse.
its kind of hard to explain the is-ness of this feeling. what i can only speak of (or write) are just parts or a glimpse of the is-ness of this kind of feeling (of considering november as a curse). well, of course, to term november as a curse is an exaggeration. it isn't really something that bad. maybe it's just that november brings so much stress. the truth is, i was not that excited to start this sem (a feeling that is really different from before) because i was afraid to. to explain why is something that i can't do in this blog. but: game of politics is a difficult game indeed. it really is hard to know the people's motives. and even if you have a pretty nice objective, you may be questioned through the means you are using. when a leader does something that he/she thinks would be good for the constituents, expect that it would receive criticisms. if that action done is not desirable to others, expect that they will do something (be it something that will be good for you or not, and/or something that will be good for the whole of your constituents or not). to be a leader is not easy. it is more of a responsibility than an opportunity. furthermore, politics is not just a matter of friendship. but if it is, it is of true friendship, not of friendship in the superficial level. as such, a leader must do the thing that which will be for the good of the constituents as a whole not for this friendship in the superficial level.
it's not just that. there are other more. some are just works that bring stress, and one that does not just give stress but also gives something that i never thought i would have in my whole life. i was (and am) always careful of everything i do. to be careful is the easiest thing that person x must do. but however easy this job is, it is still not done. stupid! (sorry for the word, but person x really drives me mad)
enough with all these... we just had a meeting with the TC (thespian circle) and we had new tasking... i am now one of the two stage managers (a job that i haven't done in my whole life). i even don't have a clear idea of what a stage manager must do. well good luck diory...
8:26 PM
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