Friday, December 09, 2005

musings on this week's occurrences



the rehearsals for the laramie project had already started. to be a stage manager is a tough job indeed. you have to be on the venue of the rehearsals before the director gets there, memorize the blockings, the movements, and etc. but despite all these, i am having fun. though it is more tough than i thought it would be, to be a stage manager is more fun than i thought it would be. everything about the production in which we are in excites me. this production made me forget that we are facing a big problem due to the stupidity of one person - of person x.

i was too busy these days that i had a little time to read the "zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance". i was planning to finish reading this philosophical novel written by robert pirsig before i read another novel for my PHLO 182 (philosophy and semiotics) class. but the instances this week gave me less time for this leisure of mine.

there were lots of readings assigned for us to read; most of them are not easy to be grasped by this mind of mine. i am pretty sure that my neurons are functioning very well; that the parts of my brain are still in their right places. yet, whenever i go to PHLO 113 (contemporary philosophy) class to discuss heidegger's philosophy with others, my neurons seem to be sleeping so tight that i cannot disturb them and that other parts of my brain are no more in their right places. of course, these are exaggeration. but the bottom line is: it's never easy to read heidegger's "being and time". i cannot grasp fully what he is trying to say. i cannot understand the being of the being of his text at first reading. this might be because i'm so used to the analytic tradition that i can't seem to understand the continental one because i don't want to.he might be right, there is an ontico-ontological priority in knowing the being of the Dasien (of an entity). if this is the case, it could imply that there is also an ontico-ontological priority in understanding the being of the being of his text. is this the reason why he wrote in a manner that will made it difficult for us to fathom his philosophy? whatever his reason for writing is, i don't... ah, no.. i mean, i do care, 'coz there are still some sections in his text that i have to read.

florence, ate megs and i had a very nice discussion about heidegger's anxiety this afternoon. we were on the uplb main library before our PHLo 113 class, integrating the things we have learned from other subjects with heidegger's philosophy. we stayed there for about an hour and a half. this time that i spent on that library was a time well-spent. i hope we would discuss more on heidegger and on other phenomenologists and existentialists. i am now starting to free myself from being imprisoned in the analytic school of thought that is a dominant tradition in UP. in UP, we are more concerned with analytic philosophy (logical positivism, logical empiricism and linguistic analysis) than with phenomenology and existentialism, which is a dominant tradition in Ateneo. we are into logic; they, into phenomenology. however i try to deny that i am a pseudo-student of philosophy (or not doing genuine philosophizing), i am being one whenever i am criticizing the continental philosophy without first understanding it. yes, i am (used to be and still am) a person belonging to this analytic tradition (just like Phaedrus in the zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance). but this should not hinder me from doing genuine philosophizing. Nitty gritty analysis must only be a method, not an impediment in philosophy. i used to close my door, not allowing the continental tradition enter upon me. but if i want to subject myself into Philosophy itself, i should be willing to change ideas and traditions when there's a need to - when it is discovered that i am not in the Truth. if my aim is to search for this Truth, i must take the risk of accepting new ideas, of opening my doors to other traditions. that i am biased, just like others are biased, is a fact. the best i can do with my biases is to identify them and know how to deal with them.

so much has been said but these are not enough to descibe the whole of my week. before i end this, let me just share something about me as a student and a stage manager of sir dey: i do not know if he is thinking that my being as a stage manager extends 'til when i'm in his classes (172 and 182)... he made me erase the board (after both the 172 and 182 classes)! the whole class was laughing, others are telling me that i am a teacher's pet. anyhow, to be a teacher's pet is better than to be a teacher's pet peeve. it's okay for me to erase the board but i would prefer not to as it would only give my hands some dirt, char! okay, enough with all this... i am actually not at home at this point in time. our monitor collapsed so i cannot surf the net when at home (of course, how will i surf if i don't have a monitor?...) i am about to leave this computer shop minutes from now. but i still have to publish this new entry of mine...


5:15 PM

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the "i"


i am not what i am and am what i am not. i am my own nothingness.
-- jean-paul sartre


i am a thinking thing. i think therefore i am.
-- rene descartes


i am the mean between everything and nothing.
-- blaise pascal


i am what i repeatedly do. -- aristotle



AN EYE FOR AN "i"

the "i"; the ninth letter of the modern English alphabet.
it is a one-letter word, contested in terms of its meaning.

it could be the "me"; that which explicates my identity.
but what is the "me"?
how can the "me" be reduced to an i?
or the "i" be reduced to a "me"?
is "i = me" logically true?
can the identity be contained in a one-letter word such as "i"?
or can the "i" contain the identity?
can "me" be the "i"?
can "i" be the "me"?

the "i"; grammatically spelled with a capital letter such as "I",
hereafter used with a small letter "i",
to explain the "me" -
a "me" who is not only a subject who looks at objects
but an object as being looked by other subjects.




diory-ness

i am: a philosophy major at the University of the Philippines

i am: a person who, just like everyone, gets old as time goes by

i am: excited, yet scared of what the future may bring

i am: discontented with life and the mere sense of living

i am: discontented but happy

i am: ambitious. over ambitious.

i am: walking in a path, with a destination in mind, without knowing where to go

i am: more weird than i think i am

i am: sane yet insane

i am: simply who i am

i am: me, and

i: do not know "me"





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